He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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