i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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