u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
