Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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