I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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