Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
