fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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