She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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