My underwear smells like fireworks.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
