Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
