While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
