I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
