she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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