The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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