She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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