He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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