im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
