I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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