when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
