i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So squirting runs in the family.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
