Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
