goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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