She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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