Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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