Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
there is glitter all over my balls
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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