Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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