Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
