i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Let's get the cat blown out
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
