She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
