Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i've created a new STD.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
