Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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