we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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