my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
