just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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