The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
