you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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