the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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