White coat. Heels.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize