I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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