i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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