He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
