I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
