i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
