someone threw a dead crab at me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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