You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
