Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize