and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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