I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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