M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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