i jhust puked up my retainher.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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