You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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