these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
