Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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