Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize