Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
