Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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