PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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