sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
