I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
