I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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