I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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