True but thats because hes a fetus.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
