Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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